It Sucks To Be Mello
by Lynx Tiger
Summary: Mello is blind from the explosion. Matt decides to help out with the video feeds. Dear lord...help us now XD. Crack FIC


**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note nor do I make any profit from them.**

**_Lynx Tiger: My manga got stolen by my friends, so I can't write my MisaxMatt fanfic. So instead, me and mom were talking about a what if sort of thing. A humor thing. If you don't get some of the T.V shows, P.M me and I'll explain what they are. This fic is no way suppose to be serious. It's a crack-fic, because that's what it is. _**

Mello stumbled in the room. He wasn't used to not having sight since the explosion took it away. Matt was careful enough to make a path for him in filth. "Matt." Mello said as he looked around. Well, not looked. More or less, he was glancing around with his head, his eyesight not helping because it wasn't there.

"What?" Matt's voice came from the couch. Where was the couch again? Mello held out his hand and grabbed onto it. Pulling himself toward it, he finally managed to lead against it. "Geez Mel." Matt's voice was nearer. He must have made it. "What is wrong with you?"

"I'm blind." Mello said dryly. "We been through this before. I need your help."

"With what?" Matt asked. He couldn't hear any video game sounds, so Mello had a feeling that he was finally taking the video feeds seriously.

"With this." Mello gestured towards the computer. "What is she doing?"

"Misa?" Matt looked up from his video game and then said, "She's talking to some girl that looks like that cop from Life."

Mello got a blank expression on his face. He lived in the underground, like hell he had time to watch T.V. "From what?"

"Life. It's a fun cop show sort of thing. Thought I never like it. But I do. Ooh, that dude that just went pass looks like that guy from Chuck."

".....Matt do I even sound like I know any of those people?"

Matt wasn't listening. "What was his name? Casey! There we go. Casey. Man, that's almost scary. Did you know that Misa looks like Brittany Spears."

"That girl that got pregnant twice and has a sister that's also knocked up?" Mello asked. Now that was someone he was familiar with.

Matt nodded. "Yeah, man that's scary how alike actress and actors are. Ooh! Burn! Life's cop girl just left and guess who came into the picture? I swear that's so weird. She looks like someone from....what was that T.V show?" Matt had a frown on his face and then said, "Oh, she looks like one of the wives of Big Love."

"What?" Mello asked.

"You can't be serious." Matt turned to Mello. "How can you not know any of these T.V shows?"

"Matt, what's the one thing I'm lacking at this very moment?" Mello's patience was wearing thin.

"Chocolate? Tampons?" Matt listed.

"Eyesight you fucking dick. I don't know who the hell your talking about. The only one so far was Brittany but she's...." Mello just shook his head. "I'm not about to say."

"Riiight." Matt looked at Mello, before looking back at the screen and then said, "What's scary is that Kira reminds me of Jigsaw from Saw." He shivered. "Only more godlike and kills with a face and name. See? This is why you should watch television more dude."

"Watch? That I can't do. Listen? Maybe." Mello replied.

Matt didn't hear him. "You know, Misa's bodyguard-"

"Mogi."

"Mogi, reminds me of that guy from Life on Mars." Matt replied. "The boss I mean. Doesn't really have a lot of lines, but his presence makes you shiver."

"Life on Mars?" Mello looked blank. "The song?"

"No! It's a television show. A really good one." Matt replied.

Mello looked at Matt for the longest time and then said, "You are a fucking moron."

"Dude, your just saying that because you don't want to admit that I can beat you in T.V trivia." Matt grinned and then left the videofeeds and started playing World of Warcraft and then said, "Besides actresses and actors look alike, even video game characters have their own doubles."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Mello could feel a faint throbbing in his forehead. Obviously from a headache Matt had no problem giving him.

Matt stared at him as if he lost his head. "Misa could also look like Yuffie from Final Fantasy. Kira is sort of like Ganondrof. Mogi is...well.....I don't know. That one person from Final Fantasy number seven." Matt was staring at World of Warcraft screen before typing in a wicked sentence that made another person use an explosive. "It's interesting. I mean, a lot of these people can look like an actress and a game character it's unreal."

"....." Mello sighed and then said, "Matt."

"What?"

"Do I actually look like I'm following along?"

"Well, you haven't interrupted me yet, so I assumed you were doing okay. Why? Are you lost in my awesome explanation?" Matt looked at Mello who had his head bowed. "Mel?"

"The last time I interrupted you was when I told you I couldn't see and you though I meant I couldn't see the computer so you shifted aside and still kept describing me things. I'm BLIND!" Mello snapped at him. "Get that through your head."

"That's why I'm describing things."

Mello wanted nothing to do more than to shoot his friend and stumble back to his room to sleep.

"You look like Ashley from Sanctuary."

"For the love of god...."


End file.
